Looking Back

Well we’ve been back for a few days now. And we’ve partied til we dropped and we’ve dropped it like it’s hot. We had a lovely welcome back party last night, which included a slideshow of the trip, a classic James Ortmann speech, a lovely rendition of Hey Jude (renamed Hey James) sung by 12 bikers, and lots of sangria. Lots of dancing, a little stretching, and a little bit of the dinosaur game. Great fun was had by all. So we’re now officially in recovery mode on multiple levels, and I have some pictures and videos to share. I’ll start by illustrating some of the previous posts, and will do some bigger slideshows and stuff in a couple days when more of the pictures have rolled in.

This good lady and I have been through a lot together. She's a pain in the ass, but I'm bringing her home with me.

Made it

I’m in Saigon! Just woke up in the place that will be my home for the next week and a half.

Most of the ride yesterday was dealing with lots of the traffic of the outskirts of Saigon and the stress that goes along with that, so it was difficult to focus too much on the excitement of where we were headed.

Until, of course, we hit the Saigon Bridge.

Before the bridge just dusty buses and trucks, and I couldn’t tell exactly where we were or how far we had to go to our finishing point. But I saw that bridge, and then I saw this big blue roofed building called the Manor behind it, and that’s a building I’m used to seeing on the horizon, and suddenly I was crossing a huge arching bridge onto Dien Bien Phu, a road I know well, and I knew the roundabout we were looking for, and I knew we were THERE. Now I’m a pretty excitable person, but I haven’t had many times in my life where I felt like I did riding over that bridge. I sped up to catch up with the riders ahead of me and just started screaming. What, I don’t know. But the celebrations began.

We arrived at the zoo, the place where the bikers met before crossing town to meet our friends at the Reunification Palace. We shared about 3 beers among 13 riders which seems to have gotten 13 hungry, dehydrated people drunk in a matter of minutes.

We set up our flying V formation, James had a big Vietnamese flag waving at the back, and we rode to the Palace. It’s difficult to maintain a flying V when there are 4 stop lights in your way, but we did our best. Random Vietnamese people were cheering us along the way, though I don’t think they knew what was going on.

Then we saw our people.

Then we showered and went to the bar to eat cheeseburgers and fries.

Then I went with four others to the tattoo parlor.

Then I met Ali and we went for sushi and white wine, exactly as planned.

Then I went to sleep, knowing i didn’t have to wake up and get on a bike in the morning.

And all is well in the land of H2H.

One day more!

I started the day with Les Mis in my head due to the (not so) fabulous hotel we stayed at last night. Specifically this part:

Charge ya for the lice, extra for the mice, two percent for looking in the mirror twice.

But the upside is that I actually love Les Mis and it’s entire soundtrack, so I quickly moved on to this part:

One day more! I did not live until todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! (One day more) … etc … etc … Will you take your place with me? The time! is now! the place! is here! one day more!!!!

In case you can’t tell, we’re close to Saigon. We’re 110 short, flat kilometers away. We’ll be there early tomorrow afternoon if all goes well.To meet our friends at the Reunification Palace in downtown Saigon. Then we’ll take our stuff home. Then some of us will get tattoos to commemorate this astounding month that we’ve had (it’ll be small, mom and dad!). Then I’m going to eat lots of sushi and drink lots of white wine, as planned.

The ride today started with a massive, rocky decent out of the mountains of the central highlands where we’ve dwelled for (forever?) and into the flat land that will take us home. Decents are cool except when they’re littered with rocks and gravel. But it gave us some good flat tire oreo time by the side of the road to enjoy one another’s company.

We’re currently in Dinh Quan. It’s a terrible town. One of three towns on this trip which our riders have categorically dubbed  “bullshit towns.” If you saw it, you’d understand. And this blog will probably be especially long due to how very boring this town is (we already had a fight with the aliens invading our hotel, what’s left to be done?). Though I think we’re being especially hard on it due to our eagerness to get home.

November 2nd feels like it was a lifetime ago. I can’t believe we’ve only been doing this for a month. This month was such a long time coming, and it’s been such a priority for such a long time. And here we are less than a day from the finish. We’ve seen so many wonderful (and terrible) parts of Vietnam this month. And I, at least, have pushed the limits of what my body can do at times.

I’ve seen dogs chasing pigs and pigs chasing dogs. I’ve heard pigs being slaughtered. I’ve almost hit multiple water buffalo. I’ve seen Chet steering a water buffalo. I’ve touched the clouds, I’ve flattened tires, I’ve worn out brakes. I’ve been given a purple blind fold. I had a Vietnamese woman smack a bump on my head. We’ve received countless cheers and high fives from the side of the road. We’ve cursed many a truck driver. We’ve crashed. We’ve eaten lots of rice and noodles. We’ve been served pig snout and chicken feet. We’ve eaten fresh crabs on the beach. We’ve had many road side dance parties and made lots of kids laugh. We’ve done the chicken dance, the macarena, the iron man dance, and the peanut butter jelly time dance . . . and the hokey pokey. What can I say, we’re a bunch of teachers on bikes.

I haven’t always been a “kids” person. I used to think they were annoying, especially in large groups. And here I’ve spent over a year doing nothing but teaching little kids, and mostly loving every minute of it. And now I’m on the H2H: Ride for Vietnamese Children, where most of my enjoyable roadside interactions are doing silly things with little kids. Our favorite passtimes as a group are the dinosaur game and apparently fighting with imaginary aliens. My ability to connect with adults in this country has been limited by language and cultural barriers which have been difficult to overcome in such a short time. But kids are always just kids, you know? And I like that a lot.

 

Turkey Day in Bao Lac: Pizza and Bailey’s and good good people

Happy Turkey Day Errybody!

Today was a good day. I turned my turbo jets on today and went 110k before 1pm. My bum hurts and I figure the less time I spend on that bike between now and Saturday the better.

So the ride was sweet. I even got here in time to wash by biking shorts and have them dry by tomorrow. I took a shower, and then my roommate and I bolted over to a place where they had PIZZA four doors down. PIZZA. We couldn’t believe it. It was like a gift straight from the heavens.

So to those in America, pizza might sound like a sad story for Thanksgiving. However. Every other night we’ve been eating rice and noodles. We couldn’t have actually asked for anything more exciting than pizza for this day.

We ordered a large pizza each, and began what became a revolving door of bikerseatingpizza which has continued until, well, now. Basically from 2-7pm.

After going back and taking a nap and running some errands in town, we walked back by said pizza parlor and joined them again. I learned they had Bailey’s for $1, and we ended up 6 people around a round table, 4 Americans and 2 Brits.

So we had a toast to Turkey Day, and started the good ole family tradition of sharing what you’re thankful for. Even the Brits joined in. It was really lovely. Before this month, most of those 6 people hadn’t spent much time hanging out together, and we had never even met Kat, who came over just for the bike ride. And it was nice to feel that they’ve so quickly become so familiar that it’s really nice to spend this day with them.

Kinda crazy right? On a trip like this, there’s at least a 50% chance that other group members will have driven you bananas by day 25, and that just hasn’t happened. We still like to hang out together. Durn good thing if you ask me.

TWO DAYS TO SAIGON! 180 KILOMETERS! I SEE IT ON THE SIGN JUST OUTSIDE!

Day 24: Getcha head outta tha clouds, kid!

OK! Yes please! Show me the way down and I will happily leave these clouds! And can I not touch them again for the next three days, please?

Yesterday was easy. Today was not. It was beautiful, but “easy” is not the word.

Today was 115k, which we expected. And we also expected it to be somewhat mountainous. But I think I, at least, underestimated the magnitude of this day.

The downside is it seems that the roads in parts hadn’t been paved since 1920, so there were about 3 potholes for every 10 yards of road, and it was all rocky gravel. This is annoying for bikers, and their hands/arms/shoulders/butts.

The upside is that the scenery was out of this world. We’re currently very close to Dalat, the Honeymoon Capital of Vietnam. And it’s called that for a reason. The area is stunning. Precisely because it is full of mountains that touch the clouds.

Do you know how I feel about mountains that touch the clouds? I think they’re pretty. But I don’t want to have my bicycle on any more of them for the rest of this month!

OK that’s extreme. They can actually be tremendous fun, and what would this trip be if it didn’t include some tough climbs and freewheeling downhills that follow?

But as a result of the aforementioned cloud-touching, snobbishly beautiful mountains we passed through today, we rolled into our destination town at a very late 5:00. And we’re going to average 100k/day until we reach Saigon, so my time to type is limited.

But know that we are bolting down this skinny country as fast as we can, enjoying our last days of this ride and enjoying one another immensely, but getting ever more excited about the sleep and warm showers and pizza and sushi and recovered muscles and bones and elbows that lie in our very near future.

And all is still well in the land of H2H.

Day 23: Simply lovely

Well today was a very unexpected day which was arguably the best of the trip for me. The last time I wrote, we were pretty sure we had nothing but busy bad roads between us and Saigon. HOWEVER . . .

It was a very short day – only 50 kilometers, and we took our “halfway break” at something ridiculous like 9:30 in the morning. At the break, we remarked how strangely and wonderfully quiet the roads were. And SMOOTH!

So we hopped back on the road, and before I knew it I was 5 kilometers from the town where we were headed, and it was maybe 11:00. I was loving sailing throught he rice paddies on the smooth, windless road, not really wanting to stop. But it was just. so. beautiful. The rice paddies were a green which I can’t describe (But my pictures can! pictures which I will post in 3-4 short days!). I was by myself at this point, and decided to just pull off the road and sit on the shoulder for a while and look at the grass blowing in the wind with the mountains behind them.

I must have sat there for 30 minutes before the next folks from the group rolled on by. And in the meantime, tons and tons of sweet Vietnamese teenagers rolled by on their bikes, with the most genuine smiles to be found in this country.

And in truth, I realised with some disappointment that this was the first time I had done that. We frequently take stops along the way to “take it all in,” but those stops are usually with at least a few other riders. This was the first time I had 30 minutes all to myself to just be there. It was wonderful.

So we arrived at our hotel around noon. And by hotel I mean lovely “resort” with a giant hut/house which all 13 of the riders shared. This sounds uncomfortable, but really it was lovely. And it had lakes on both sides.

But our hut wasn’t available until three, so we had some time to kill. So we all laid our tired bodies out on the pavement of the parking lot while fellow rider Sam serenaded us with his guitar and song.

Bach got involved in the music

Justene cleaned her chain

And everyone else, well, did this

Then, we went into the restaurant and had a 3-4 hour meal, exactly as meals should be, and as they have often turned out to be for us this month. Was it lunch? Was it dinner? Who cares! It was both, and we never actually stopped eating.

And it was good.

Where we’ve been

Day 22: 5 days from Saigon

Well we’re almost there. This Saturday, 500k down the road, we’ll arrive in Saigon, and this trip will be finished. And every single person who started this trip will have ridden the length of Vietnam. When we’re taking this trip a day at a time, it’s easy to forget how far we’ve come. But today’s a day off, so the big picture comes back a bit.

The last week or so has been quite difficult. I speak for myself, but I think it’s true for a lot of people. About a week ago, it seemed we had reached a point in the trip where bikes and bodies just start to break a little. We roll into town, hobble around looking for food, have a meeting, and go to bed. All of the knee/ankle braces which were in the First Aid kit are now in daily use. We started counting the days to Saigon and making plans for the food we would eat and the movies we would watch when we get there.

We’ve also been about 5 days on roads that are rough and busy and often windy, which we expect to continue until we finish. You may have noticed I have a phobia of all trucks and buses in Vietnam so, for me, this has probably been the hardest part.

Yesterday, my friend Hilary rode up behind me and said: I’m so tired I just tried to change my gears on my thigh.

But the last bit is always the hardest, isn’t it? And we’re sooo close.

So my biggest motivating factors at present, in no particular order:

1. Kids that stand nicely by the side of the road to give us high fives
2. Girls that blow us kisses
3. Impromptu road-side dance parties
4. Coffee breaks
5. Lunch
6. Women that try to help when we get goose-eggs on our heads, even though their idea of helping is to slap said goose-egg as hard as they can.
7. Loathing of evil bus and truck drivers who think it’s funny to try to scare people on bikes. And grown men on the side of the road who think the same.
8. Scheming of how I will one day stop my bike and kick one of the aforementioned people in the shins
9. On Saturday night I’m going to be eating sushi in Saigon with one of my best friends in the whole world!
10. On Sunday I will watch Patch Adams
11. On Sunday night we have our Bikers Got Back: The Return of the Spandex(osaurus) party, where we will dance our hearts out to Dude Looks Like a Lady.
12. When we were talking about doing this, everyone said we were crazy, and rumor has it people in Saigon even made bets on who would make it and who wouldn’t! The lovely part is that we’re all going to make it.

And that, really, is the whole point.

I’m off to try very hard to find a bicycle shop. My front tire currently has two holes and pitiful brakes. Here’s hoping!

Day 17: Long, climatically diverse, unexpected

Well hi,

Today was friggin crazy. We’re now in Plei Kan, 60% of the way through our ride and 11 days from the end.

Last night, James told us it would be a long day (115k, to be precise). But he said that the first half would be moderately hilly like yesterday and the last half would be flat. As he was reviewing the route with Bach this morning, Bach took him aside and raised his arm int he air to indicate “dramatic uphill” and said “20 kilometers.”

James did not tell us this.

So it took us about 5 hours to go 60 kilometers, and in the process we reached the clouds. And by clouds I mean misting, freezing, windy clouds. We were sweating in the sunshine for breakfast and lunch, but freezing in the clouds in the interim.

But we’re coming up with new and creative ways to curse the mountains every day, which I will not share due to large amounts of profanity, but many of them go like this:

“For @#$% sake! No more @#$% mountains!!!! AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!”

-OR-

Friendly Vietnamese person: “Hello, what’s your name?”

Rider: “My name is ihatethe@#$%mountains. What’s yours?”

-OR-

[Shaking fists at the mountain]: “YOU WON’T BREAK ME! YOU WON’T!!!”

And they didn’t.

But the second half was lovely. Nice, climatically stable rolling hills which also did not break us. We even had time to form a little flying V in true Mighty Ducks fashion as we were rolling into town. So, another day another 100k, and all is well in the land of H2H.

Just two notes on our lovely driver, Bach:

1. He bought two little birds today. Two little pet birds? Why? I don’t know. Where? Somewhere along our ride. Then he took some random thing from the van and rigged it up as a drinking water system for them. I tell you this man’s a compassionate genius.
2. He also apparently fell in love with Ruth today. Ruth took a tumble on a patch of gravel and really really busted up her elbow. After we fixed it up the best we could with the First Aid kit, Bach was making moves to put her bike in the van and drive her the rest of the way when she went “no no, I think I want to ride.” She got on her bike, and as she rode away Bach looked at her and made this face which he always makes whenever anything surprises him, basically dropping his jaw and going “WHAAAAA???” Then he just started shaking his head and beaming. Then he looked at me and gave two thumbs up. And then Ruth biked 25 kilometers home. THEN she got stitches in her elbow. This girl is tough. And Bach loves her.

Day 16: Kham Duc

Today we took a 60k, moderatetly hilly ride into the booming metropolis of Kham Duc. I say booming metropolis for a few reasons:

1. There’s an airport
2. There’s a restaurant
3. There are white people here who I don’t recognize, and my friend, I believe, is presently gawking and trying to make conversation. We haven’t seen such things in a while.
4. Rumor round the water cooler has it, there’s ice cream.

So I gotta go.

But let me leave you with at least one picture.  

This is the whole team. We’re all being dinosaurs, which is a game we play sometimes. When one person starts it, everyone else must follow suit. The rules: you can’t show your teeth, and you should make dinosaur noises. This is what innocent people all over this country are being subjected to this month.